That ancient question, “who gives the bride to be married?” is a hangover from the marriage ceremony’s life as a financial contract. What it’s really asking is “Who owns the property.”
So, you probably don’t want to ask that question.
However, you do want your parents to be able to answer a question. Parents always have. Parents always should. Buy in helps. Get both sets of parents buying in! You’re going to need their support, so get it early. You also want them to answer in time-honored words. So choose questions that allow them to answer either “I do” or “I will.” That will make it feel “right.”
Who comes here with A to welcome B to their family? (and then reverse!) Ask a question that allows your parents to announce both their love for you and their willingness and pleasure in welcoming your partner in to their fold. Gone are the days when a one of the couple left his or her house to live in the other family’s house. No one leaves a family these days as they marry; they join the other family. These are the bonds that make divorce difficult. These are the bonds that make families strong.
As A and B marry, Are you willing to celebrate everything that lies ahead? Ask a question that invites your parents to form a clan around you. Ask your families if they’re willing to celebrate your future together? There’s a lot coming up for you. There are careers and houses and should you want it children. You want to be able to mush everyone into the same house and celebrate the passages of life. You want people to be able to comfort one another if there are accidents or illness. You want people to be able to hang out at a back yard barbecue. You want your families present throughout your marriage.
Build your families into a unit that not only celebrates at your wedding ceremony and reception but that also wants to witness and support your wedding vows. Invite them to continue to enjoy these relationships during your marriage.
Tip: Families are not separated by marriage; they are built by marriage. Mix up the clans, give them reasons to come to know one another and have yourselves a much richer life and marriage!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! There’s a lot more info to help you create the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime over on my website: http://annkeelerevans.org And to help you create the wedding vows that will become the blueprint for your incredible, happily and healthily ever-after marriage, I’d like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free wedding vow templates: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free Go on! I dare you, be happy together!
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